There hasn’t been a year in which someone discovers my writing and, to their disappointment and/or dismay, also don’t find out that I spend most of my time joking around, on and offline, way more often than raging at the machine. I refuse to part with my sense of humor.
“You’re a serious writer, a pillar of the community, you’re not supposed to be funny!” Ha. Have you truly read anything I’ve written? If you’re an avid reader of my work and haven’t laughed once then I’m sorry to have failed you as a communicator. Or maybe it isn’t me. Maybe it’s you.
We’ve been conditioned to only see the anger, the pain, the anguish on the faces of hypervisible people who look like us. But, get a load of this, if you only see those things, you’ve fallen into the traps white supremacy (and other forms of bigotry) has laid out in front of us. Even our neutral facial expressions as interpreted as threatening. Why do you think that is? Now consider those you think are serious writers, think tanks, human rights activists, anyone in any position of leadership you admire or aspire to be. Do you seriously think they managed to get there without having a sense of humor?
I can give you a list of titans who have transitioned and those who are still here with us that possess(ed) a wicked sense of humor.
Our shining Black prince, Malcolm X, was hysterical—he made fun of colonizers whenever he had a chance, which was quite often. Take it from the man himself:
"Anything that's paradoxical has to have some humor in it," he said, "or it'll crack you up. You know that? You put hot water in a cold glass, it'll crack. Because it's a contrast, a paradox. And America is such a paradoxical society, hypocritically paradoxical, that if you don't have some humor, you'll crack up. If you can't turn it into a joke, why, you'll crack up." He laughed, shortly and joylessly.
Indeed.
Was Martin Luther King Jr. funny? The late great Maya Angelou told Anderson Cooper that both MLK and Malcolm had “incredible senses of humor.” She also saw humor as an important part of her life:
“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”— Maya Angelou
In The Cambridge Companion to James Baldwin, Dr. Danielle C. Heard writes that the release of Horace Ové’s film on Baldwin, “marks a ripe occasion for reflection upon what many of us know, yet rarely discuss outright, as James Baldwin’s humor.”
Did Toni Morrison have a sense of humor? Of course, she did.
bell hooks has, perhaps, the most definitive take on the importance of humor for us:
We cannot have a meaningful revolution without humor. Every time we see the left or any group trying to move forward politically in a radical way, when they’re humorless, they fail. Humor is essential to the integrative balance that we need to deal with diversity and difference and the building of community.
President Obama knows the power of humor. Watch any of his interviews and speeches. You’ll see. NBCNews called him the Comedian-in-Chief.
I don’t know about you but the people I look up to are often humorous, in any space they may be leading in: the arts, academic, corporate, philanthropic... I am, perhaps, the first to genuinely laugh at their jokes, even if they bomb with others—the attempt to make others comfortable is enough for me to cheer.
I don’t need anyone to be some stoic god, some serious human rights automaton to move me into action, but don’t get me wrong. I completely understand the seriousness and the urgency of the many matters we face. They just don’t have to be faced without humor. Even if the time and place seem off to us, as long as we know what’s in the hearts of those representing us (seriously going to bat for us), we should respect and honor their motives by appreciating them in their entirety. This unequivocally means also welcoming their sense of humor.
I see their humanity—through and through.
I want us all to be our true three dimensional selves: impassioned, vulnerable, humorous... I don’t want us to be any other way. No masks, no pretenses, no acting, no guards, no superficial charm—lest we give off psychopaths vibes.
I don’t want nor need us to suffocate any side of ourselves for me to believe us and in us.
Why do you?
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